How I Started Pole Dancing at 46 (And Why It Healed More Than My Body)
On movement, midlife, and what your body is still capable of
The majority of you are new to me.. this is my dancing story…
It is from 5 months ago, from January. Since then I've added 7-inch heels to the mix. I'm not joking. Watch it on my IG stories. :)
I'm sending it again because the majority of you weren´t here… and I want to inspire you to dance 10 minutes today. Will you? What is your favourite dancing style?
Am I too old to start dancing?
On December 31st, 2024, at age 46, I climbed a pole dance pole to the ceiling for the first time.
Six months later: This. Mid-choreography, mid-flow, mid-life.
I wasn’t strong. I wasn’t young. I wasn’t “naturally athletic.”
I was the girl who struggled in P.E. class. The woman who hid her body in baggy clothes at her first bellydance class at 32. The woman in pole class with students the same age as my daughters.
And I did it anyway.
This is what becomes possible when you follow your joy, what calls you, even though it feels scary and challenging.
Welcome to Lesson 6 in my series From Burnout to Beautiful.
In Lesson #1, I invited you to stop slow down.
In Lesson #2, to stop criticizing yourself.
In Lesson #3, to wear what you want.
In Lesson #4, to stop hating your body.
In Lesson #5, to learn to receive.
And in today´s lesson…I´m inviting you to move your body. To DANCE.
The Woman Who Wasn´t Good At Sports
I was not good at sports in elementary school and high school. I was always a good student, but P.E. (Physical Education) was a challenge. I dreaded it. That feeling of being picked last when the captains were choosing teams, of my body not cooperating, of being the one who couldn’t keep up.
For years, I believed: I’m just not athletic. My body isn’t made for movement.
Then something changed.
Bellydance at 35: My First Yes to My Body
When I became a mother of one, then the mother of two girls, I really needed to dedicate time to myself. I was 35 and exhausted. I was working in corporate finance and taking care of two toddlers. I started going to weekly yoga classes... and then a couple of years later to bellydance.
Complete beginner.
It was my ONLY ME moment of the week.
When I could focus on myself, not on my corporate job, not on my family, not on the house but myself. In the meantime, my husband stayed with my daughters so I could go.
I loved bellydance. So feminine, so sensual. In the beginning, I wore clothes that hid the biggest part of my body... I don’t do that anymore.
The Decade of Dancing: From Beginner to Advanced
I was advancing year by year, going to intermediate, then to advanced class. Then I started tribal fusion bellydance, which I adored. It was so difficult that I couldn’t think of anything else when I was dancing. Mindfulness 100% of the body and the mind.
I danced with a sword on my head!
I danced with fan veils. I was an amateur, but at the end, I was in the highest level group in bellydance and tribal fusion bellydance. There was a show where I danced to 5 choreographies... it was exhilarating!
The Solo Performance Where I Expressed Myself
I also danced once alone on stage at a studio event in 2019, which was the biggest challenge I had faced until then. I improvised. I was in my flow. This is my style, this is me: spontaneity.
That moment…. standing alone on stage, in front of the entire audience looking at me in silence, me dancing to a Hungarian song (I´m from Hungary) that touched my heart and that I sang on stage when I was a teenager.. so emotional. After my performance somebody from the audience approached me and told me: Me and my family, we cried watching you. I loved hearing it. Why? Because I want to touch people´s heart.
Then after 10 years, I stopped. I wanted to do something new.
Starting Over at 46: Why I Chose Pole Dance
In September 2024, I signed up to pole dance classes. I was 46 at the time. I had left my corporate job 2 years earlier and I finally had more free time and more energy.
It called me so much. So feminine, so sensual. The pole tricks looked impossible to do... but still... women were doing them!
Each class I advanced a little. I fell in love.
Climbing to the Ceiling: What Became Possible
On December 31st, 2024,
I managed to climb up the pole until the ceiling!
I felt I could do anything, that nothing is impossible.
Since then, I have gone to several workshops: chair dance, twerking, and I just started Pole Exotic Heels, which is a type of dance with extreme 7-inch-high shoes.
A new challenge for me as a woman in midlife... at 47.
Pole Exotic Heels at 47: dancing in 7-inch heels because age is not a barrier to trying something audacious.
I believe we are not too old to start anything new.
Maybe it’s more difficult, it’s more challenging, or I advance slower than some other students who are the age of my daughters in the same class as me... but for me, the important thing is that I am doing something I love, that connects me with my feminine energy, my body, my sensuality, makes me stronger, and I have an incredible time in class.
Pole dance also inspires me to do weight training at home, as the stronger I am, the better I can do the different tricks.
And no, it’s not necessary to be strong at the beginning, just go regularly to class and you will get stronger. I go 2-3 times a week and I feel so energized during and after the class.
What Dancing Actually Is
Dancing for us women is such a source of joy and happiness and enthusiasm, at least for many of us.
Some women say, “Well, I don’t know how to dance.”
Well, you don’t have to know how to dance.
You can go to dance classes if you want to dance well or learn a specific type of dance, but you can also just dance at home.
You don’t have to know how to dance to dance.
Dancing is just moving our body, putting on some music, and enjoying life, enjoying that we have a body, that we have legs, that we have arms, that we can move.
Dancing brings us into our body and helps us connect with our feminine energy.
Sometimes when you are feeling joyful and energetic, you can put on a song that’s very energetic so you stay in the flow.
Other times when you’re feeling more melancholic, you can put on a slower song and just move slowly. It depends on your mood, and you can just dance.
What I´ve learned
We all start at nothing. Beginner level, or how we calle it in pole dance: intro.
We all start at not knowing how to dance.
It is showing up to the dance classes day by day, week by week, year by year that counts to become a better dancer. And in the meantime, we can fully enjoy EVERY moment of dancing.
It’s not how good you get at it. It’s how much joy, fun, and excitement it brings you. How connected you feel to your body, to the moment, to your feminine energy.
That’s what is important.
Dancing is feminine.
Dancing is art.
Dancing is movement.
Dancing is joy.
Dancing is liberation.
Dancing is self-expression.
Myths About Dancing in Midlife
If you want to dance but you don´t dare… it can be due to one of these myths.
Which of them resonates with you most? That’s the one which blocks you from dancing.
Myth 1: "I need to be fit/flexible/strong before I start"
Reality: You become fit, flexible, and strong BY starting. I wasn’t strong when I started pole at 46, but I showed up every week and now I can say I´m strong. Definitely stronger then before…. but I always want to get stronger because then it´s easier to do everything on the pole!
Myth 2: “I’m too old to learn something new like this”
Reality: I started bellydance at 35, pole at 46, and exotic heels at 47. Your body doesn’t stop learning, it´s your belief that blocks you. I follow a pole dancer woman on IG who is I think 73, and she started pole dancing at 70! I find it so inspiring! Age is just an excuse.
Myth 3: “I’ll look ridiculous dancing at my age”
Reality: The only thing that looks ridiculous is not following your joy because of your age. I dance in classes with some young women my daughters’ age (16 and 18) and I belong there. So do you. To dance and to move your body is not determined by your age or your skill level.
Myth 4: “I have to be good at dancing to dance”
Reality: Dancing isn’t a performance for others, though you can also do a performance of course! Dancing is being connected with your body. Your feminine essence. It is simply moving to music. Or without music!
You don’t have to be “good” to move to music in your living room. You don’t need an audience. You don’t need technique. You need music and just wanting to dance.
Myth 5: “Sensual movement is for young women”
Reality: Sensuality deepens with age. At 47, I understand my body’s language in ways my 25-year-old self never could. I know what feels good. I enjoy it more to be embodied in my feminine energy. I´ve always loved to dance in a natural way, but now I´m more conscious. This wisdom IS the gift of midlife.
Myth 6: “I should have started when I was younger”
Reality: The best time to start was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. It´s like the metaphor of when it is the best time to plant a tree!!
I’m doing things at 47 I couldn’t imagine at 17!
Every single day you wait is another day you’re not dancing. Stop saying you are too old, it´s too late, you can´t dance… and just start dancing.
What Dancing in Midlife Actually Heals
When we dance, when we really dance, not perform, not aiming for perfection, just moving our body, it heals:
The decades of disconnection from your body as a pleasure source. Your body has been a work machine, a baby-making machine, a thing to criticize in the mirror. Dancing reminds you: this body is also for joy. Dancing feels amazing!!
The belief that sensuality belongs only to the young. Our culture sells us this lie constantly. Dancing in midlife is an act of rebellion against a culture that wants women to disappear after 40. Well…
I´m not disappearing. I´m not invisible.
The fear that you’ve “missed your window” for new physical challenges. Every time you try something new with your body, you prove to yourself: My body is capable. I can be strong. I can do things that I thought were impossible.
The shame of being a beginner when you’re “supposed to know things.” In midlife, we’re supposed to be experts, right? Dancing gives you permission to be playful, to fall, to try and fail and try again. And this helps you with your mindset for the other areas of your life.
The comparison trap that keeps you frozen instead of moving. When you’re focused on how your body feels, how you feel in your body, you stop comparing.
You’re too busy dancing to worry about being better or worse than someone else.
When I´m in dance class doing a coreography… I´m focused on trying to follow it, not to compare myself with others. When I look at them, I do it because some women memorize the coreography easier than me… so if I don´t remember the secuence, I look at them and know what to do.
Your Practice
Today, dance for 10 minutes.
Close the door.
Put on some music. The one you feel called to in this moment.
Close your eyes.
Move your body, your arms, your legs. It doesn’t matter how you do it.
You don’t have to know how to dance to dance. It is a natural thing for us women that many women suppress because they think they have to be good at dancing to dance.
You don’t.
You just have to be willing to move. And feel.
Start dancing today.
Midlife Radiance Playlist Collection
I have created 3 playlists on Spotify specifically from women in midlife. I was born in 1978 and these songs were hits when I was at high school and university, when I went out partying and when I listen to them I get a burst of energy.
It´s my Midlife Radiance Playlist Collection and you can download it here free:
Tell me which is your favourite song from the three playlists!
Become Fully Alive in Your Midlife
Become Sensual in Your Midlife
Become Unstoppable in Your Midlife
Dance to feel feminine is one of the teachings from 🌹The Rose Room 🌹, my vault of feminine embodiment teachings for women over 40 who want to feel confident, worthy and become feminine again in their midlife.
→ You can enter The Rose Room here.
All published lessons here: From Burnout to Beautiful.
Day 2 - Stop criticizing yourself after 40
Day 3 - Wear what you want after 40
Day 4 - Stop hating your body after 40
Day 6 - How I started pole dancing at 46
Day 7 - Beauty doesn´t depend on our age
xo, Csilla 🌹
P.S. For me dancing has been one of the most important ways to get in touch with my body, my feminine energy, my sensuality, my joy as a woman after I turned 35.
Dancing is movement, art, creation and self expression.
Want to see my first pole dance videos? From when I started?
You can watch on my Instagram here my pole dance videos in one place from the beginning and see how I started knowing nothing, and how I got better week by week. I love rewatching my old videos, it shows me the progress, and I also appreciate the Csilla 15 months ago who dared to show up and dared to publish her very beginner level pole dance videos on Instagram. It took lots of courage! :))
Do you have a specific dance style that you would love to sign up to?
Will you do the 10 minutes dancing practice today?
Reply and tell me. :)
I read every comment and I love inspiring other women to start dancing!
And if you have questions about starting pole dancing, you can private message me, I love sharing my experience! 💃
P.S.2.
Do you love dancing? Or maybe you don´t dare but you would love to?
Join my free daily challenge for midlife women feeling invisible after 40, exhausted from over-functioning, or disconnected from your body called 28 Days with Aphrodite.
And the activity for Day 1 is to dance 10 minutes!
I love all of this! The sword photo is phenomenal. Keep inspiring! You’re good at it 😁
I’ve tried poke fitness - at 62! It was fun. I love to dance and schedule one morning a week. I just follow some class on YouTube and have a laugh all by myself.